A Contradictory Species

Timmii

Friends. Not a topic that I would normally write about but I was thinking. It was today at lunch. I was hanging out with some of my friends, talking and laughing and being weird like normal. But, then the topic of someone else I know, and old friend of one of my friends. They were close. Not like best friends but certain not like acquaintances. They were friends either way.

So then why am I questioning the bond of friendship? Because it throws me off, makes me wonder. Are some of us really friends? Would you talk behind my back? Turn on me in a fight? Because if I can be talking and then the topic of someone's old friend comes up and they can just so easily badmouth them, why wouldn't it be hard for you? How am I to know that you're really my friend? Why do I trust you?

I can't answer these questions. I can only ask them. But really, why trust?

I normally think of people as beings who test the limits. And not always in a good way. We test friendship, trust, love. And it is because of this, we hurt. Yet even knowing this, even experiencing this, we still move forward over the crumbling bridge that might collapse under us, because yes, we are stupid. Because yes, we don't know our boundaries. Because yes, we make mistakes. Because, we aren't perfect. We make mistakes but we get up and try again.

We are smart, but we are stupid. We are wary but we trust. We make up rules that we break. We push beliefs on others, but we don't even follow ourselves. There are those who believe of a high power, so why are there those who try to play god.

I am atheist, I don't believe in God, in a higher power. I don't believe, no matter how hard we try, that we can be perfect. We can't live in a utopia. We can't stop war. Trust and betrayal, peace and war. They are a part of life. Friends and enemies. Protectors and back stabbers. We live with them. We trust them. We love them. And we, are hurt by them.

This is why I question. This is why I wait for answers that will never come.

Humans. We are a contradictory species.